Public Service
by Canadino
Summary: What does Japan do when he develops a prototype for a new camera? Test it out, of course! Various pairings with a stalkerish Japan.


**Disclaimer: If Axis Powers Hetalia were mine, I wouldn't need to write fanfics. If any of these songs were mine, I wouldn't be writing fanfics.**

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**Minimal fluff 09!**

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Public Service

Most people didn't know this about Japan, but despite his small stature and quiet demeanor, he was really quite dangerous if given a certain, lethal weapon. This weapon was nothing big; it wasn't a nuclear warhead or a bomb or a rabid elephant. This weapon wasn't anything complex and small, like a computer virus or a rare strain of a deadly disease. No, it was much simpler and scarier than that.

It was a camera.

He had presently perfected a pocket-sized digital camera with an unusually inconspicuous flash (he could explain how he could bend space and time around the camera so the objects of the picture would not be able to notice the flash, but it would require more science and magic than normal people would understand), a non-existent camera sound, and a faster-than-light shutter speed. Oh, the joys of his crafty hands. Holding it up like the baby Jesus, Japan basked in the satisfaction of creating such a brilliant piece of technology.

Next was to take it on a trial run.

Sneaking into China's house to get to the rest of the nations, he noticed his so called 'brother' speaking to the creepy mascot Shinatty-chan. Quickly ducking into the shadows, Japan turned his camera on, holding it up for a picture. China continued having tea with Shinatty-chan, who was staring at the food in front of it – eating would require taking off the mascot head and taking off the head would probably result in China turning violent. "Shinatty-chan, would you like more tea?"

Japan was about to take the shot when there was a rustle in the bushes behind the two seated members. With lightning speed, Korea leapt out of hiding and grabbed China. "Aniki!! I can't find Japan!!"

"Eeh?!" Turning around just in time to avoid Korea's embrace (the younger nation toppled onto the table, knocking hot tea onto Shinatty-chan's shirt, causing the man to leap up and run off trying to tend to its burn), China took a step back. "What are you talking about, aru?"

"Japan! You know, Japan! I can't find him! I went to his house to see his breasts, which belong to me of course, but he wasn't there! Is he with you?"

Suddenly Japan was very glad he decided to set off as soon as possible. China frowned and shook his head, now looking a little miffed that his teatime with Shinatty-chan had been ruined.

"Oh well! Aniki, I guess you'll have to do!" Jumping on the older nation, Korea groped China rather openly, laughing as he did so. Japan saw his chance and took a few shots as China struggled to escape from Korea's vice grip. "H-hey, aru! Let go! Stop!"

"Aniki, I can't wait to xxxx you!"

As much as Japan would have liked to stay and take pictures of _that_ as well, there were a great many other nations he still had to try his product out with first, so with great reluctance, he snuck away as China executed a roundhouse kick into Korea's gut.

After making his way across the arid countryside near China's house, he wandered around until he had wandered all the way into the outskirts of Russia's house. Taking careful steps (who knew, perhaps Russia kept traps everywhere to catch any nation that snuck onto his property), Japan made his way to the house and shimmied up the wall (it was easy with all the vines and footholds of the bricks) to the only open window. Peeking in, Japan saw Russia 'talking' to Lithuania – which in regular terms meant that Russia was talking as Lithuania looked in another direction and pretended that he was okay.

"…so if that happens, will you become one with me, Lithuania?" Russia smiled and Lithuania looked briefly as if his spirit left him.

"W-well…" Apparently, this was an agreement in Russia's language, as the larger nation looked even more positively beaming and grabbed the startled Baltic and seated him next to him like a talking, moving doll. "Great! Now that you're one with me, you should sit next to me, da?"

"I never said…" Lithuania trailed off as he felt the murderous intent flood off Russia and nodded weakly. "Well…I guess…only for a while…" Before he could finish this sentence, Russia had grabbed him in a very tight bear hug, which would look cute in every other sense except Lithuania looked this close to dying. Quickly catching a few shots, Japan decided to hightail it out of Russia's house before he was caught as well.

Taking a round-a-bout way to Europe, Japan found himself in Scandinavia. Ah, he was near Sweden's house. Climbing nimbly over the wall around the house, he found himself in a nicely kept garden. Creeping between the daffodils and other various colorful flowers, he made his way to the backyard. He felt something shift at his feet and as he looked down, Japan saw Hana-tamago looking eager. Japan smiled and the dog cocked his head before trotting off without a sound. Breathing a sigh of relief, Japan hugged the wall as he neared the clotheslines, where Sweden and Finland were hanging wet laundry.

"Ah, it's a nice day, isn't it, Su-san?" Finland stretched cheerful as he picked up one of Sweden's shirts (Japan figured that Finland was a bit too small to be wearing a shirt that could have easily passed as a tent for him) and took some clothespins. He tried to attach the wet shirt onto the clothesline, but alas, it was a bit out of reach. Japan thought to himself that it was a rather cute attempt anyway; seeing this as well, Sweden stared at his housemate for a while, watching Finland before scooping him up.

"Ah! What're you doing, Su-san?"

"H'lp'n m' wife," Sweden grunted, holding Finland up so he could easily reach the clothesline. Even without its silent click, Finland's protests would have easily drowned out Japan's camera, going off every so often to catch this scene between husband and 'wife'.

So many moments, so little time!

As he was already in the area, Japan decided to pop a visit over to Norway's house. The nation was outside attending to a rather large Viking boat. Japan hid behind some tall pine trees, readying for the next picture as he noticed Denmark bouncing out of nowhere.

"Norway! I haven't seen you in so long!" Knocking the ropes out of Norway's hand with a careless nudge, Denmark enveloped the other nation in a greeting hug.

"Too noisy," Norway murmured, letting himself be subjected to Denmark's affection. Both were oblivious to the lone viewer a distance away, taking multiple pictures. As Denmark latched himself on Norway as the latter tried to continue fixing his boat, Japan leapt away across the North Sea to Europe.

Where to begin…?

Germany was at home, as Japan deducted. The blonde was currently making wurst as Japan peeked through the window. Fortunately, before Germany could see him, Italy came out of the recesses of the house to glomp and distract the other nation. "Ve, ve, Germany! Do you have anything yummy today?"

"I'm making some as we speak." Italy cheered, still hanging around Germany's neck like an oversized necklace. This was rather bothersome for someone making wurst. Japan decided it was a picture perfect moment nonetheless and held his camera against the glass (another improvement: no glare!). But this was nothing new, as Japan realized as he lowered the camera. He had went through a whole war with Italy jumping Germany – and he really wasn't sure if he was bored with this pairing yet.

Going further south, Japan slid into Austria's house through an open window. His ninja skills were still tiptop, after all. Following a melody, Japan crept until he was next to a slightly ajar door. Staring in, he saw Austria playing at the grand piano before spotting Switzerland listening a few feet away. This was another cute scene, Japan decided; he knew for a fact it wasn't very hot in the house, so there was no way Switzerland's face should be that red. After snapping more shots, he saw Hungary staring at him a few feet away in the hallway. Being seen, the nation-tan smiled encouragingly as she held up a camera of her own.

Japan was glad he and Hungary saw eye-to-eye on some things.

Passing France's and Italy's empty houses, Japan wondered where everyone had went. On his way to America's house, he made his way into Spain's house's grounds. Sure enough, the happy Spaniard was picking weeds out of his tomato garden with Romano. Japan quickly ducked behind the tool shed to watch.

"R-remember I'm only doing this for the tomatoes, dammit! I'm definitely not doing it for you!" Romano grumbled as he pulled out another weed, pausing to frown and throw dirt at Spain, who was grinning at him. "Stop smiling at me, dammit!"

"I can't help it, you're so cute."

Italy could glomp, but Japan wasn't sure if Romano was glomping or attacking Spain. Could it be a hybrid of both? To further his studies into such activities, Japan took a few pictures to analyze once he was back home. The sun was already high in the sky and he still had much to do.

America's house was nice – which meant it had a very wide variety of nice places to hide in while taking pictures. Japan snaked through a crowd, following a pair of blondes through the streets of a city. Not to mention there were so many people that even if England or America were to turn around, Japan would be easily masked in a mob of busy people. However, neither bothered to see if they were being followed and Japan could stalk them without worry.

When they stepped into a jewelry store (what was this? Japan thought amusedly), he thought he would have a hard time not being spotted but both English-speaking countries were too preoccupied to notice him follow them in. Japan situated himself next to a confused looking employee, playing his camera and acting as if he were a worker as well. To his dismay, America was only there to look at cufflinks.

"What do you think of these?" America announced loudly in the quiet jewelry store, holding up a pair of McD-nalds cufflinks. Japan stifled a smile as England grumbled.

"They're positively bullocks, of course," the Brit huffed, earning him a scathing look from a nearby employee. "You need to go for something more traditional, you prick," England continued, picking out some conservative gold cufflinks. "Something that brings out some of your more positive attributes. But," he sighed as America stared at him, "that's going to be a tall order."

"Hey, you know what we should get?" America asked suddenly, changing the subject. "We should get matching rings!"

(Japan didn't think America knew what he was insinuating but he wasn't going to complain. He had already snapped a few priceless photos of a blushing England.)

"W-what rubbish are you spouting…?!"

"Yeah, well, we're in an alliance, yes? And Germany and Italy have matching crosses, so I think we should have something like that. And anyway, aren't these the awesomest things you've ever seen?!" America held up a pair of what seemed to be engagement rings; instead of a stone, however, there was a gold engraving of a hamburger.

Japan had to leave. He couldn't laugh quietly at a situation like that.

He was scrolling through the plethora of photos on his camera when he realized he had unknowingly made off into Canada's house. Perhaps he could ask Canada if he had something to eat (he was feeling peckish; he hadn't eaten anything and being a photographer was more exerting that one would think); peeking into every room, Japan wondered if Canada was out when he finally peeked into one room and saw France…ah…touching Canada in numerous ways. So that was where that nation had went.

"Ah…stop, France. Someone might see…" Canada's face was an embarrassed red that America's would never be as France groped him. The other nation chuckled.

"Who's going to see us except your little bear?" Wrong, Japan thought as he brought the camera up to his eye. How nice for him.

Japan was currently making his way back through Europe when he saw Greece, wandering aimlessly with a group of cats behind him. Waving, the spacey brunette came up to Japan. "What have you been doing all day, Japan?"

"Eh. Taking pictures." Holding up the camera, Japan showed his newest prototype to Greece. Greece didn't seem interested at the photos it held; instead, he stared at it as he turned it over in his hands.

"How about we take a picture together?" he asked finally. Japan didn't see the harm in that; after all, he liked Greece and they got along nicely. Handing the camera to one of the cats (Greece must have much time on his hands if he could train a cat to use a camera) and stood next to Japan. The numerous cats around them bunched to get into the picture as well. The cat took the picture like a natural.

They came out rather well, Japan thought as he continued on his way. His picture with Greece looked very nice, even if neither were very cheerful looking – Greece looking his usual untroubled self and Japan with a shy little smile. As he passed the Baltics, an idea popped into his head and Japan decided to have one more visit before he called it a day.

"Hello, Estonia."

"Hi, Japan. What can I do for you today?" Estonia looked up from the numerous computers around him, a grin on his face.

"Can you show me how to set something up really quickly?"

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England was scrolling through the list of spam and email in his inbox when he spotted something by the annoyance (aka France). It was titled 'Fun Photos' and England debated if he should open it; it surely was a link to more morbid and vulgar shots of the perverted nation himself. He was surprised by the email itself.

_Bonjour Iggy_! _It seems that Japan's got a little time on his hands these days. Your love, France. Ps – Did you get the rings?_

Clicking the link that came with the email (making sure it wasn't a phishing site first), England almost did a double take at the colorful blog that he had entered, filled with sarcastic barbs and links to rather embarrassing pictures. Almost every single photo on the site was scandalous or suggestive except a lone normal one of Greece and Japan and a bunch of cats.

Japan had a cat to answer the phone that day and decided to spend the afternoon in a walled off portion of his house where no angry nations could contact or bother him.

Owari

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Note: This nasty piece of happiness took forever for me to come up with a title. I just read a fic with a photographic Japan and decided as he goes along with it, he'd probably make a blog. Not my best work, sorrs. Review, tally o!


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